ID: The words New Blog Post in the upper right hand corner, beside the title Function Over Fashion. Beneath is a collage of pictures–a flannel shirt, a baseball hat above sunglasses, and a photo of the bottom of my wedding outfit, nice maroon pants and blue hiking boots beside a crutch.
The age old question: Are clothes made to be functional pieces of daily use or avenues of self expression and an art unto itself? Luckily this blog post is not here to answer that. We know clothes can and do serve both purposes. My clothes have always been eccentric, especially as a closeted, young, queer person. As my limitations have increased, more often clothing has served as a functional tool.
In 2015, I had hip surgery to repair a torn labrum. I can clearly remember showing up to my first postoperative physical therapy appointment in classic, red Keds sneakers. The first thing my new physical therapist said was, “You need to buy tennis shoes and stop wearing these.” As someone with an extensive Converse Chuck Taylors collection and a few Vans sprinkled in- I needed to buy all new shoes. It was jarring pairing clunky Nike tennis shoes with my outfits. But I couldn’t deny that the more supportive shoes offered less pain and the ability to walk for longer periods than my unsupportive shoes. At the point that I needed the most support, I had one pair of high top Hoke One One summer hiking boots that I wore all the time.
When my best friend got engaged and asked me to be a part of their wedding party, I was honored. I bought sleek Oxford shoes that matched my outfit and the color scheme. But traveling across the country to the wedding had caused a serious flare. We weren’t sure if I’d make it out to the wedding venue in the woods. I did, but I needed more support. In preparation, they had a seat waiting for me at the altar. I was also going to use my forearm crutch and be walked down the aisle by my caregiver. Even with all of that support I was not going to be able to wear the Oxfords. I needed the support and added safety and my friend just needed me there. So I got to sit beside my best friend as they said their vows, in blue Hoka One One hiking boots.
Over the years as I have upgraded my shoes, it has become very clear to me that the type of shoe and amount of support matters. But it didn’t stop with shoes. In the ensuing years my physical therapist also insisted I buy more supportive bras with thick straps and an even thicker band. Another arena of my outfit choices that was no longer within my control. Due to a medication side effect, I started to experience light sensitivity. While it reduced when I stopped taking the medication, it didn’t “go away.” If anything, having the experience of increased photophobia helped me to realize the ways in which light was playing a part in my overstimulation. I began wearing polarized sunglasses and hats to protect myself from the sun and harsh overhead lighting in hospitals. For many months I was wearing sunglasses and a hat inside. The staff at my infusion clinic started calling me “Hollywood,” and I definitely had one person sing the infamous line, “I wear my sunglasses at night.” While these choices weren’t coming from my personality or a desire for self-expression, they were still affecting the way I looked and therefore how others viewed me.
Another symptom I struggle with is temperature regulation. This can be made worse by certain activities, like getting an infusion. The cold fluids literally make me colder. So I invested in a lot of warm, soft, oversized, long sleeve button downs. I’m at infusions twice a week and these shirts keep me warm and cozy. Because they are button downs and loose fitting, the sleeves can be rolled up quite high, or I can take one entire arm out of the shirt if they want to access harder to find veins. It’s a piece of clothing that really exemplifies function over fashion for me. I buy and wear them because of how the material and article of clothing supports my needs. I’m just lucky that I live in the Pacific Northwest and oversized flannel shirts have long been an acceptable fashion statement.
There were times when the limitations of my fashion choices really frustrated me. I felt a deep sense of loss. For years, I’ve worked to accept the options that are before me and personalize my outfits as much as I can. While my hiking boots may have made me stick out, my suspenders and bow tie matched the rest of the bridal party. And most importantly of all, I was there to support my friend as they got married. Sometimes it’s more fun to choose function over fashion.
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